March 23, 2026

Baily’s Summer Squash

dani@slyrooster.com Sides, Vegetarian Baily, family recipe, homecook, RCDS, Rumson Country Day School, yellow squash 9 Comments

This past weekend, we said goodbye to my mother-in-law. Baily was a wonderful woman who always had a soft smile, kind words, and a gentle spirit. My first memory of Baily was how warmly she welcomed me into her family. As if she had been waiting for me all along. She was interested in who I was and asked questions in the most non-evasive way. Early on in Gary and my relationship, a friend of Gary’s commented that I reminded her of Baily. I took this as the highest compliment. Appearance-wise, Baily and I couldn’t have been more opposite. Her blonde hair had gone mostly gray by the time we met, green eyes and rosy cheeks contrasted with my dark brown hair, darker eyes, and olive complexion. If Gary were marrying a version of his mother, it couldn’t have been less obvious. But the hints residing in shared passions were there.

Her love for cooking, first and foremost. Baily was a home chef before chefs were celebrities, and she nurtured her curiosity by seeking out international recipes long before exotic cooking was in vogue. Our family tradition of cooking a Christmas dinner that replicates that of a different country comes directly from Gary’s childhood Christmases, orchestrated by Baily and the Flinns. Baily taught after-school cooking classes (dubbed Cordon Bleu), something I’ve dabbled in, and pulled together community cookbooks (maybe this blog is a modern version of that).

Baily was creative in more ways than I could ever aspire. When she noticed me needlepointing in those early years, she bestowed upon me bags and bags of yarn despite my protests that I didn’t know where to begin using them without the clear direction of a matching canvas. I heard stories of Baily raising Angora rabbits to harvest wool that she would dye and weave. She knit sweaters, wove rugs, and went on hooking retreats with the other hookers (oh yes, we loved to tease her about that). Baily took piano lessons later in life to pick up where she left off as a young girl and would head to Vermont for piano retreats. We were gifted cassette tapes of her recitals upon her return.

Baily loved her children without judgement and thought that each of her five grandchildren hung the moon. My last memory of Baily was from our visit in January. Baily wasn’t speaking much by then but she sat with a smile and listened to the chatter between Lissa, Gary, Mattes, Reed and me. All of a sudden, she turned to Reed and asked, “When are you going to get a haircut?” Well, if you are familiar with the current trend in boys’ hair, alpaca-ish is the best I can describe it; you would know that she wasn’t wrong. We all giggled as Reed blushed and said, “I know, Grandma, I need a haircut.” As if that wasn’t astute enough from someone seemingly on the periphery, about an hour later, when we were saying goodbyes, Reed went in for a hug, and Baily said, “Haircut, haircut, haircut!” Cue the hysteria.

Baily will be remembered by all who were lucky enough to know her as the consummate hostess and the kindest woman with sparking eyes and a tremendous heart. I will miss sharing conversations about books, food, crafts and crossword puzzles but know without a doubt that she will be watching it all, never judging and always smiling. 

I am lucky enough to possess a Rolodex of Baily’s recipes, handwritten on index cards, along with a copy of the Rumson Country Day School community cookbook. Today, I will share one of our favorite recipes of Baily’s, and you can be sure that many others will follow. Speaking of the RCDS cookbook, this is taken from the Forward:

If too many cooks can spoil a cookbook this one has been inspired and saved by the dedication of a singular and talented chef, Baily Crichton.